It’s okay if you’re exhausted by sex toys.

Contrary to popular belief, you *can* get tired of sex toys.2 min

I was thinking today (as I occasionally do), whilst trying to round up, organise and figure out what sex toys to review next, that sex toys are exhausting. Like a kid in a candy shop, there’s so much choice you never know what you want when you want it, or how many you want (sometimes a person needs two sparkly dildos). The abundance of choice, particularly when you’re trying to test sex toys is tiring. I mean, at the end of the day sex toys are meant to do one thing, they’re meant to make sex more pleasurable. Whether they do that through vibrations, thrusts, the hard impact of a paddle, or soft thud flogger, the intention is always to make sex more pleasurable.

In the era of an endless amount of options, decision fatigue is a real thing, and there have been a few times where I’ve gone to pick a toy to play with, and I can’t choose. I have 20 options in front of me and I’m flummoxed. 

What I’m trying to say, in a rather roundabout way, is that it’s okay if you’re exhausted by sex toys. You can get tired of sex toys, and you don’t have to use them. Quite often I’ll only use one or two toys, even though I have over 100 to choose from. I prefer the simplicity of finding a good toy, and sticking with it (I’m looking at you, Doxy). You don’t need to own 100 different toys to find pleasure, you just need to own one, two or maybe 10 that are right for you.

Don’t get me wrong I love testing sex toys, I love opening up a new package to find a parcel waiting to be unwrapped. I love the excitement of trying to figure out what all the buttons do, and then I even have a soft spot for the crushing disappointment when I realise the sex toy I’m testing is going to get a bad review. I like writing, and I like figuring all sorts of things out, and in this case, toys out. Whilst I’ve only reviewed around 25 toys for this blog, (many of which are yet to be published), and I’ve reviewed 8 for Cara, I’ve played with countless toys throughout the years. As mentioned, they’re all designed to do the same thing – increase pleasure for the user.

If you’re using sex toys, and you find that they’re not enhancing the experience, don’t use them. It’s okay if you’re exhausted by sex toys. Don’t feel that because you like reading about them, looking at them, or following people who won’t stop talking about them *ahem*, you have to use them. Yes, our reviews are a way to sell your sex toys as many of us use affiliate links to gain money from our blogs, but we don’t want you to buy for the sake of buying them. We’re just trying to give you our opinion on the toy, so you have information when you decide whether or not that toy is right for you. 

At the end of the day, sometimes all you need to have good sex is your imagination, a hand or genital contact, and a relaxed mind. Sex doesn’t need to become over-complicated with sex toy, after sex toy, after sex toy … trust me all that will happen is you’ll get lost in charging tables. Sometimes sex is more disappointing because you’re using a sex toy that runs out of charge halfway through, just before the pivotal moment of orgasm … it’s happened too many times to count. 

From time to time, I get bored the complexities of sex toys, and how people are trying to push their latest model promising better orgasms, a tighter pelvic floor, a bigger penis, etc. Don’t let manufacturers, salespeople, companies, and even bloggers make you feel that you have to have the latest sex toy for better sex because you don’t. I mean, sure, there are sex toys I don’t want to live without, but out of of the hundreds of toys I’ve tried I use very few from my own personal pleasure, maybe a handful (and a Doxy, that beast is not fitting into just one hand). 

It’s okay if you’re becoming exhausted with the rhetoric that you have to use a sex toy to have better sex. Take a break, take a step back, and maybe come back when you get excited by the notion of trying something new.

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Ruby Rousson

Self-professed 'Professional (Disabled) Internet Human' Ruby Rousson runs Arousibility, The Ruby Umbrella and a number of other sites that all aim to help disabled and chronically ill people in some way shape or form. Twitter and Instagram: @MissRubyRousson


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