It’s the year 2020 and it’s still a common practice in India to shame women for having sexual needs. Our appetite for sex is supposed to be non-existent, with the act of intercourse restricted to only either pleasing the husband or bearing children. Anything other than that is pretty much sacrilegious. It may sound like I am exaggerating, but unfortunately, I am not.
Little wonder then that self-love aka masturbation is a major taboo for female kind in my country. It’s almost as looked down upon as having sex before marriage. Why, in a 2018 mainstream Bollywood film, a character ends up getting divorced by her partner after he walks in on her masturbating. The scene got a lot of backlash from the public online and offline because and only because it showed a woman pleasuring herself. It was unfathomable to some as to how a girl can masturbate in the first place. The audacity! The sin! How could she?!
Well, I may be blithe about this now, but I was raised in this highly patriarchal society, and up until three years back, I used to be uncomfortable while masturbating. It’s not that I wasn’t in the mood for it; I’ve always had a high sex drive, don’t date much, and can’t do flings, which meant self-love was my only option. What’s more, I think there are few things sexier than doing yourself and moaning in sync with a pair of attractive porn stars. The thing that bothered me was the guilt that I was doing something wrong. Whatever pleasure I felt was always overpowered by guilt, so I stopped touching myself for years.
Cut to 2017 and I found myself angry and depressed thanks to the end of my abusive marriage. There was so much pent-up trauma and sexual frustration that if not the former, I could instantly deal with the latter by fucking the pain away. So I tried and once again, the waves of guilt hit me hard. Only this time, I was in no mood to let unnecessary guilt take charge of my sex life. I decided to combat the stigma with some pure hard facts.
- Fact #1: masturbation is good and beats having sex with an unworthy partner.
- Fact #2: masturbation is an amazing and healthy coping mechanism for depression, anxiety, and stress.
- Fact #3: It’s fun and STD-free. Asshole-free too, and by asshole, I mean people, not your actual asshole.
It took me some time to fully embrace this so-called sin as a routine part of my life, but I did it. Today, whenever I feel that my depression is getting worse, I pump some instant dopamine in my system by masturbating. It’s empowering to know that I can orgasm with only some privacy and my fingers.
Self-love has enabled me to not just orgasm without needing someone, but also deal with suicidal feelings. “Feeling myself” has kept me from harming myself as much as my antidepressants – and I have a good feeling it will help you too. Trust me, it’s the healthiest, most natural way to relieve stress, anxiety, and keep depression and suicidal tendencies at bay. Try it for yourself and watch yourself glow as you own your sexuality. And if you are lucky, even experience multiple orgasms like I do in the process.
I am so over the guilt that I endorse my love for masturbation to old and new friends of all ages. The only reason I am writing this anonymously is that I don’t want random men to send me creepy messages online. I am a proud member of the ‘fingerfuckers’ club. Cum join me!