If you’d told me five years ago that in 2020 I’d stop masturbating, and stop feeling like I had to masturbate, I would have laughed in your face. If you’d told me three years ago that by stopping masturbating, I’d have more orgasms, I’d have spent an hour trying to work out the logic. If you’d told me a month ago that by stopping masturbating, I’d orgasm more, I still wouldn’t have believed you.
But it’s true.
Since deciding that masturbation is no longer a primary concern for me, and something that I needn’t force myself to do, I’ve had more orgasms through partnered sex, and more sex! It’s been a bit mind-boggling because I never thought this would happen. However, I also understand why – because I don’t feel the need to act upon my arousal, I’m saving it for activities that bring me more joy. I am the type of person that will revel in arousal for days, enjoying the nice slow build-up before an orgasm (though it must be a slow build-up – more on this sometime soon). I enjoy reading fanfiction, and erotic stories that spark a desire in me, inspire lascivious thoughts, and I love it when arousal fuels my work.
I have also found that I don’t have to work as hard for my orgasms during sex, and my ability to orgasm multiple times has returned! I do think that my medications are still affecting me – both current and past since my sex drive used to be much higher. However, maybe this is the start of finding a no stress baseline again?
Stressing less about orgasms has also made me realise that I need a fuck machine. Seriously. I do very much enjoy the connection that comes from partnered sex, but what I really really love is penetration. However, that is impossible for me to do solo. I do not have the arms, nor the body to fuck myself enough that it will bring me to orgasm. I’ve never really had that ability as I’ve always had problems with my wrists, but I love penetration. So, although my last post mentioned that a fuck machine was out of my reach, maybe … just maybe I’ll look at getting on this year (or getting a sub to gift me one *hint*).
I’ve wondered how taking a break from masturbation would affect my orgasms… but I’ve never quite had the willpower to find out. It’s intriguing and uplifting to read about your experiences. Maybe I will make a concerted effort one day…
It’s amazing what can happen when you let yourself let go of the stress and pressure of what you think you *should* be doing. And yay for more sex and orgasms!